One Day Early, Jiddo ❤️

It’s never easy, and it never will be.

Losing someone who was such a pillar, an example of starting from the bottom.

It’s never going to be easy, this life. We spend it all in the shadows, the shadows of death and then when it actually appears, we are struck.

I am certain that a little of us dies every time someone we love dies. And we thought it gets easier. It doesn’t.

Jiddo❤️

I’ll always remember how he complemented most of my outfits, how the distinctive ones made his eyes glow. I’ll never forget how he’d be so happy to see all the family gathered together. I will forever cherish how he never passed down an opportunity to have a great time.

Christmas was always fun, joyful, warm, loud and always had Jiddo’s flushed out face from all the red wine.

He was a positive, passionate, hard-working, loving, caring, giving, open-minded, well-rounded, perfectly educated, elegantly dressed, determined, responsible soul.

And here we go again, Teta. I’m so sorry you’ve had to experience two great losses so fast.

There’s a psychological painful story to every loss Teta had to face. It was never simple for my classy Teta.

She was the glue that held the family together for so many years; she wouldn’t let any member of the family hold a grudge against another; she’d make sure to settle any disputes with a warm gathering and her delicious stews. I can’t recall a single day when my Teta didn’t have something nice to say about every member of the family.

Why this way, Teta?

After my uncle’s passing, 2 years ago, things have never been the same for anyone in the family. Especially Jiddo, he kept it all in. He’d sit on his recliner with a small tissue paper wrapped around his finger so he’d wipe his tears discretely everytime he remembered his son. He’d just watch his shows, the news, and then ask to go to bed around 7 p.m. I believe he was attempting to push but didn’t really want to. When Teta would get up to go anywhere in the house, he’d be concerned and ask her where she was going. And so, when we told him she was always right here, that she rarely left the house, and why did he keep checking to see where she was going?

He’d say, “Because I cannot have another loss at home.”

And so, we lost him first.

28 days ago, Jiddo looked at his nurse and told him he was done with life. His sodium level dropped and he had to be rushed to hospital. He spent nearly 20 days in the Emergency Room. He hated every bit of it. He tried to rip off every single tube that was passed into him. They had to tie his arms at some point. And every time a member of the family entered, he smiled! His eyes glowed. He had partial Alzheimer’s, but he recognised each one of us. He loved when we were there and he kept gesturing about when he’d get to go back home.

Teta was devastated, she was left at home with an empty chair beside her. Was he coming back? Or is this it?

On the 20th day in the ER, he was transferred to a regular hospital room with flexible visiting hours and fewer tubes attached to him. All he wanted near the end of his stay was a place where the windows actually opened.

On the 24th day we were told that Jiddo can go back home! He’d only need a nurse during the day and at night, as well as the proper bed and equipment.

So, on Monday October 10th, Jiddo was coming back home!

And so, Sunday October 9th, I spent the evening with Teta & Mum. I had never seen my Teta looking so relieved and happy.

“From now on, I will not leave his side, I will sit on that chair right by him always.”

The family bought everything he needed, the special bed, the oxygen tank carrier, the wheelchair… everything.

And at 6:10 a.m. on Monday, October 10th, my mother received a call from the hospital — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -❤️

You know, yes he is probably in a better place, and he definetly didn’t deserve to sit at home like a vegetable. His vibrant soul was not made for it.

But, Teta!

The hope, the promising thoughts she had, the simple plans she wanted to do one last time with him.

You could tell that she knew he was one foot out the door, but she wanted a final few moments. She wanted those normal nights watching TV, simple lunches, early mornings, just a few more last times!

She wanted a more soothing, pleasant & warm good bye.

But then again, I can’t help but wonder, are we ever ready to let go?

I love you, Jiddo!

I love you, Teta!