Settle for the chaos

She looked for sunlight in everyone she met.

She wandered around from one setting to another and still had nowhere to settle.

She thought tomorrow would bring her the answers she was always looking for.

She felt like yesterday was just another experience and that it didn’t matter, that it wouldn't affect her.

She looked for sunlight in everyone she met. That little glow that would make each one of us unique, yeah she looked for that.

She’d find it. We all have it. But then she’d flee. Sometimes it would burn her.

She wanted warmth, nothing more, nothing less.

Something that gave her just the right amount of everything she needed. Maybe a little bit less than what she wanted so that she’d stick around a little bit longer.

She thought others would get her. She never thought it would be this complicated — Life.

And it isn’t, it’s reaching out that is. It’s humans that are. We’re so damn complicated. We never notice what we really yearn for until it leaves us.

Sometimes, even when it leaves, we might think we want that, that same exact thing that’s gone, but it’s usually not true. Because it helps us become different people when it leaves, it makes us want something else, something that is not what we “thought” we wanted.

Well yea, she wanted something else every time, and you know what they say, the grass is simply greener where you water it. It’s so hard to implement that — so hard.

Because yes it’s true, where we are is sufficient, it can get better, it never means somewhere else is better, but are we truly mentally and physically usually capable of making it what we are looking for?

No. Why? Because every time we think we had found what we wanted it turns out we haven’t.

And so she wandered around from one place to another, looking for that brightness, that spec of light that can give her hope in humans, hope in tomorrow, hope in herself!

And you’d think she’d give up, she’d tire out, or the world would look paler with time, but it never did, it just got brighter and she just wanted to know more, see more, encounter more. Does something like this ever end? Do humans truly find what they are searching for? Are we creatures who are forever curious? So curious that we end up lost.

Lost in the beauty of chaos, the chaos that is supposed to settle. That chaos that they tell you to settle for, that’s where we end up. We end up in one place, with one person, doing similar things, just to pass it all on to the next set of humans who will go through it all over again and again.